Change Your Brain, Change Your Life (Revised and Expanded) by Daniel G. Amen M.D

Author:Daniel G. Amen, M.D.
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony
Published: 2015-11-03T05:00:00+00:00

Josh

One prescription I use is having the parent read from a favorite book when the child begins to get stuck or locked into a negative thought or behavior. For example, eight-year-old Josh got stuck on being afraid of going to school. Before school he would complain of headaches, stomachaches, and anything else he thought his mother would accept to keep him home. When she caught on to his ploy, she would try to make him go to school anyway. When that happened, the little boy would scream, cry, throw tantrums, and threaten to run away from home. As the problem escalated, she brought Josh to see me. Not only was he anxious about school, his behavior was typically oppositional. The first intervention was to tell Josh in no uncertain terms that he was going to school! It was the law. It was good for him. And if we allowed him to stay home from school, he would become more afraid of it and would actually become “frozen by his fears.” To help him on the mornings when he felt as if he couldn’t go to school or he was worried about school, his mom or dad would distract him from his bad thoughts. Josh was very interested in insects and had many beloved books on the topic. When Josh became upset, his parents would read to him about a new insect and try to make it as interesting as possible. If Josh still gave his parents a problem about going to school, then he had to spend the day sitting on his bed without watching television or being able to go out to play. If he was too sick to go to school, then he was too sick to do anything else. Before this intervention Josh had problems on eight mornings out of ten. After the first month, Josh’s problems in the morning diminished to two mornings out of ten. By the third month, the problem was eliminated. Both parts of the intervention were crucial to its success. His parents had to let Josh know clearly that his fearful, oppositional behavior would not get him anything positive; the parents would not be bullied. He was going to school or he would have to sit on his bed all day long (no secondary gain by being sick). Second, the parents used distraction to help Josh shift his attention away from the fears that got him stuck.

It is essential that parents lovingly assert their ultimate authority over ACG children. Parents cannot allow oppositional behavior to prevail. If they do, it only reinforces the oppositional behavior, which could ruin a child’s life. Permissive parents don’t teach their children to deal with authority, and those kids have trouble socially and in school. Authoritative, firm parents tend to raise the most effective children. Just as when people who have OCD give in to their obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviors, those behaviors become stronger and harder to fight. When you give in to oppositional children and allow them to oppose you and disobey, their oppositional behavior only becomes worse.

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